Thursday, October 2, 2014

Hey! Today is My Birthday!

Today is a very special day in my life (beside my wedding day) because its my birthday, sambil senyum-senyum senget kepala, ala macam biasa senyum perasan... I’m 45 years old today. Yes, lima tahun lagi your aunty akan sampai ke usia 50 tahun, kalau umur panjang. How do I feel about being at this age? Old ke? No lah, age is just a state of mind. Kalau you rasa tua, tua la you. But I definietly don’t feel that I’m still young but more wiser and calmer. And ofcourse bigger and fatter. At this age I feel that I’m more knowledgable and I learned a lot especially in these past few months. Cuma itula langkah ke kubur makin pendek, seram I.
   
                                                      (Wedding Anniversary Present)

Last night, sebelum tidur, I ingat I nak off hphone but decided not to sebab I pikir-pikir mesti husband I akan bagi I hadiah. Dalam pada itu hati I berperang sesama sendiri (amboi), ah..kalau dia tak bagi pun tak apa sebab I understand dia pun tak tau nak bagi apa, kataku memujuk hati sendiri sebab tak mau dikecewakan. Oh yeah, lupa nak cakap, anniversary aritu, you tau apa I hadiah I? Dua gelang perak, dua gelang stainless steel and dua rantai stainless steel. I pilih on a different day itupun, impromtu je tak ada plan sangat. I tengok kat kiosk, I cakap kat husband I, I ambik gelang nie as my wedding anniversary. Punyalah nak ada kenangan kan... I nie kan sentimental punya minah.... macam tak tau... Husband I siang-siang cakap dia tak nak apa-apa.    
 
(My Birthday Present)

Berbalik kepada kisah I malam tadi, lebih kurang pukul 12.05am, husband I masuk bilik and senyap-senyap dia bagi I sekotak hadiah kecil berbalut kertas silver. I kata wah, sambil tersenyum. Dalam hati I, nasib I tak off kan hphone, boleh la I snap-snap gambar hehe...plan you. I pun cuba la bukak slowly tapi hati sudah tidak tahan, I cakap kat husband I, boleh tak I koyakkan aje... dia kata koyak lah.. I tengok eh..kotak biru tulis swarovski. Adakah beliau membelikan I gelang swarovski yang di pakai oleh Miranda Kerr yang kita orang tengok kat KLCC masa keluar date dengan Khairul and family haritu? Bila I bukak je, wow... sungguh unexpected. I was so surprised! I got a very beautiful sparkling swarovski bracelet and I love it so much. I pun exxagerated la dengan lakonan grade A+ I ini, bukan I hypocrite but apa salahnya I ambik hati dia and show my appreciation yang melampau, dia pun senang hati, I pun kenalah tunjuk bakat lakonan taraf Oscar. Husband I nie paranoid kalau kita cakap kita suka aje walaupun kita memang betul-betul dan ikhlas suka dia still tak puas hati. I have to convince that I really like it . Nanti dia akan tanya, “kenapa tak suka ke, nak yang lain ke, I’m so sorry, I tak tau nak pilih mana, I rasa bersalah sebab tak dapat buat you happy” (tah mana-mana dia dapat dialog filem bell bottom nie) sambil membuat muka macam nak kena piat telinga. So macam mana I tak sayang campur kesian laki macam nie? So that is where my skill terserlah wakaka.. Tak susah hidup berumahtangga nie sebenarnya, bakat you bakat...
 
Anyway, berbalik (banyaknya selingan tu yang asyik berbalik) kepada kisah lakonan I ini. I pun berdiri la depan cermin, belek sini belek sana, senyum senyum lebar, puji-puji...cantiknya sambil buat mulut duck uweekk.. ekeke... I cakap, “pandai you beli, surprise I tauuu..(panjang uuuu tu), thank you so much sambil mata yang sedia sepet, I sepetkan lagi...nak bagi expresi excitment la tu”. Like I always said, memek muka memainkan peranan yang amat penting selain dari dialog syahdu dan sendu.. Husband I senyum-senyum malu atas katil, I can see dada dia kembang kucup sambil perut dia turun naik seirama dengan pernafasan dia. I think he is so proud of himself that he chose the right birthday present. Oh..those smile.. is so sweet dan penuh lega. I’m happy if I managed to make him happy too. Then husband I panggil dia nak tengok dekat-dekat, half way pegi kat dia, I patah balik, I kata nanti I tengok lagi sekali kat cermin wakaka..melampau kan.. kalau iya pun nak menjiwai wata, agak-agak la hehe... Then husband I cakap, sesuai dengan your skin colour, kalau orang lain pakai tak cantik, you je pakai cantik (alahai..bini dia je la yang macam miss universe hehe..). Then I ambik gambar berbagai-bagai angle, kejap-kejap I tunjuk gambar kat dia, husband I pun apalagi... huii...lawa la, cantik la etc..

So pagi nie, I mendapat wishes, of course yang pertama husband I, dari malam tadi sampai la ke pagi nie. Then Mummy text wish I, then Mbo, Khairil, Shida, Lydia and Lydia shared a very good news, dia pregnant two months. I was so excited, tergenang la airmata kaseh kejap, bertambah lagi keluarga Abd Karim. Masa ber whatsapp dengan Shida panjang cerita, siap plan our next date, plan cuti sama-sama la and of course diselang seli dengan kemengarutan I.. Around 2pm Gab whatsapp, terkekek-kekek I gelak baca apa dia tulis, siap dengan gambar abang Rajni lagi, kejam haha. Then Gab mentioned about fb, barulah I teringat I tak masuk situ.  In fact lama dah I tak masuk.  I cakap malam nanti I check.  Tak lama kemudian Vagg pulak whatsapp, omg, let me tell you, ber whatsapp dengan Vagg la yang paling kelakar sepanjang-panjang hidup I, dari dulu sampai sekarang even sebelum kewujudan whatsapp lagi iaitu dari zaman YM. Nantilah I cerita.. banyaknya nanti I cerita, tapi tak cerita-cerita jugak. But you know, I never thought I boleh satu kepala dengan people like Vagg, Shida, Aiza etc. yang way younger than me. I guess my mental growth stop at 20 hahaha...

Tengahari tadi I tak masak and husband I balik kejap hantar Nasi Lemak from Madam Kwan. I know, high cholestrol, tapi I tak peduli, today is my birthday and I allow myself to eat whatever I want. You tau tak berat badan I makin naik bukan menurun. Semua seluar jeans atau khakis I dah tak muat dan tak dapat zip walau sedaya upaya I kempiskan perut I, frust I, terpaksa la I pakai skirt atau seluar bertali getah. Rasa rendah diri sangat. Hilang bentuk badan remaja yang ku bangga-banggakan, kini aku bak ibu kucing yang tak turun-turun perut lepas bersalin lima. Sedih... I hairan la apa yang I makan. I dengan husband I makan nasi/brown rice for almost three months tapi masih jugak naik so I guess I tukar balik pada white rice, buat sakit jiwa aje.

Last but not least, I’m so grateful to Allah for giving me another day to breath, to see the world and to look at my kind, loving and beautiful husband’s face. I’m so grateful that my mind is still functioning well despite being forgetful sometime. I’m always afraid of losing it or the memory because it would be so sad. I’m so grateful with the dugaan that was given to me by Allah so far, otherwise I wouldn’t be this strong and learn from it. I’m so grateful that at this age, I don’t have any expectation on other people anymore because I know I will end up being disappointed. I’m so grateful that I finally know which love and attention that I should give to and get it back instead of giving it to the wrong people. Last but not least I’m so grateful that I was even born in this world otherwise you wouldn’t know me, love me (aiyaa..perasan) and you wouldn’t be able to know how fascinated I am... uweeekk..yeah right!...kasi chance la I nak bongkak, perasan hebat setahun sekali...ye ke setahun sekali? Hehe..

Got to go malam nie I ada date....nanti I cerita...

4 comments:

ainini zainal said...

hi, i'm SATIYA. hahahahahahha

Claudia said...

hello SATIYA,

Selamat berkenalan wakakaka...

Zue-rouge said...

Sis

happy belated bday to you, sorry lambat wish

Semoga sis terus sihat,bahagia, dan dapat maintain body remaja angkasapuri..ekekekeeekke

Claudia said...

Hello Zue,

Thank you hehe.. tak wish pun xpe dah tua sesangat nih hehe... and also thanks for the wish... kiss kiss