Random Thought

After two days, I thought I’m out this cir bir situation but it was not to be. Petang semalam tiba-tiba perut I memulas yang amat and terus menerpa ke bilik kecil itu. Rasa macam nak pengsan, dengan peluh yang keluar merata-rata. Mata I berpinar-pinar and suasana nampak kelam. Dalam keadaan I macam tu, I sempat lagi terpikir, jangan la I mati dalam posisi begini, di mana seluar kecil separuh kaki dan muka kekal meneran ..wakaka.. Asyik ingat nak mati je sekarang kan.. eee..takut la. Anyway, hari nie incident semalam tidak berlaku. I guess it must be the pretzel yang I makan semalam. Pretzel la jadi mangsa pulak kan. I baru teringat sebelum I cir bir yang teruk minggu lepas, I ada makan sikit sebelum tu and tak silap I dulu dulu pun I cir bir sebab Pretzel jugak la…now that I think of it, down memory lane la pulak kannn..

Well, hari nie I tak ada mood, sungguh tak ada mood. I think maybe this is part of a recovery process which effect my emotion and I think sebab “bestfriend” I, Miss Period nak datang tak lama lagi kot. Ahh.. too many guess and suspect. Kesian husband I jadi mangsa singa jadi-jadian dari I tengahari tadi. Tapi being the nerdy one, dia buat derk aje and doing his best to make me laugh with his multi lingua nya itu. You know la bahasa apa dia gunakan..

So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (like I always do) about how some men boleh mempunyai banyak isteri tapi masih boleh membahagi-bahagikan kasih sayang dan cintanya. And I was amazed at how some women boleh share that…. you know…. among each other. I’m not being lucah here, don’t get me wrong, I was just wondering. But as for me and I’m sure most women in the world, I wouldn’t share my man with any other women. I’m not being greedy and I know each and every one of us is milik Allah and I know I will not get under my golden umbrella ella ella.... How can I let other women kiss, hug and whispers all those sweet words to him? How can I let other women share those tender moment and dreams or future together?

I bukan menidakkan takdir or ketentuan Allah, don’t get me wrong. So I guess, I bukan la perempuan yang kuat iman dan penuh dengan kesabaran (memang tak pun), that I’m not able to have those heart of steel. But one thing for sure, I don’t envy their lifestyle and I guess that life is not for me to begin with.